i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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