we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
