She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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