Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Michael Bay diarrhea
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
