Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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