So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize