we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
