I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
