I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
