He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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