This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
