He is an equal opportunity slut.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My dick has a subreddit
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
