so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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