i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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