im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she smelled like a LAN party
Are my feet made of real feet?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
