I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
