You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
