my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
