I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
