I want to have your abortion
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
