Acid is not a monday night drug
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize