Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
