yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
false alarm. still invincible.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
