It was confusing and full of hummus
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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