That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
