We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
