i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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