I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
