he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
