i just google imaged poop.
you would pick up someone in the library
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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