My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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