i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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