It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
