i permit you to call me
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
