Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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