Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize