I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
