Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
