Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
