I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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