Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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