Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
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