Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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