3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
someone threw a dead crab at me
I think im going to throw up on grandma
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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