We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
