Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
