...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
