There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
