He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
