he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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