ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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