Kiss
Puke
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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