The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
