you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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