I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
