Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
