$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize