check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
