Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
