I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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