threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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