Ambien. No doubt about it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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