Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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