and my herpes radar will keep us safe
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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