this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
