just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
