Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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