Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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