My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
