So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
