in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize