this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
