Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
