Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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