She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
