we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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