I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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