I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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