its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
