so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
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