Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
