Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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